8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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