Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
