it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
