Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize