i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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