They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm getting married
To pizza
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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