I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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