It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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