Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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