I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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