So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
