Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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