Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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