Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
