i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
