3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
