Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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