youre lurking in front of me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
