Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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