How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
