My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
