im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
