there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
