You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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