this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
