Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
