return my video game
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
