yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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