Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
