I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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