hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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