my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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