Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
as a side note pls kill me
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