i think my mom watched the whole time
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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