8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
