First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Im part way to drunk.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
