I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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