I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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