I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
