i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
