She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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