Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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