sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So vagazzling was a success
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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