Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize