Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
