And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize