come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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