Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
