We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
