tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
