I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
