I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
