i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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