The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
