and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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