The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
