But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
