I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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