Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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