new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
