the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
3 2 1 whiskey
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
