fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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